An end to the hiatus...and a reflection on the past

Welcome back! It's been a long time. Writing this is like awkwardly running into an old friend that you know you should have kept in contact with but haven't. (We've all had that moment.)

But of course, you can't apologize to a blog.

Well, summer is here! The reason behind such a long hiatus was teaching my first year of high school! It was an adventure...shall I venture to call it an odyssey: a long, eventful, and adventurous journey. Looking back, I learned so much...maybe even as much as (I hope that) my students learned in my class. Things I can look back and reflect on as lessons I learned this year:

• There are always exceptions to the rules. For a rule-follower like me, the recognition that life and decisions in life are not either "black or white" has been a difficult concept that I am still working through and trying to understand. 
• Always look on the bright side. Education is a field which is always changing and evolving, and with that comes newness on a frequent basis. I saw a lot of hesitance to change this year, and life and teaching was much easier with a positive viewpoint on all aspects of education: students, coworkers, etc. 
• Don't try to impress people...or yourself. Well, I'm a people pleaser, which I'm sure does not surprise most of you who know me. All of this translates into "I make my life much harder on myself because I worry about how other people perceive me and my work ethic."
  A mantra for my struggle: Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men....it is the Lord you are serving". For all the things that go unnoticed as a teacher, for all of the hard work on my team that can sometimes feel unmatched, I have to remember that what I do is done for the glory of one person, not for my own pride. 
• You can share the gospel in unconventional ways. In teaching public schools, it is not a freedom that I have to share the Gospel with students directly. This was especially a struggle while trying to teach ethics, correct student behavior, teach religions, and motivate the students. I found myself wanting to quote scripture during moments of discipline, causing me internal conflict on how to stay true to what I believe without crossing a ethical line imposed on me through public education.
  But you can share the Gospel indirectly. This is my most important journey in teaching: sharing the love of Christ with students without ever saying His name. It is one of the most challenging adventures in my life, but I know that regardless of how confident I am in my abilities as a teacher, I am called to teaching. By putting others first, being honest and easy to work with, respectful of authority, and genuinely caring for students, I know that they will see something different in me. My hope this is that I may plant a seed to be watered by another, and that I become a reference point for a teacher exhibiting her faith. 

As I reflect back on the year, it was a good year. I only said I wanted to quit about a thousand times (like any other first year teacher), but I know that I established meaningful relationships with my students, encouraged them, and stretched myself as a person. I look forward to a rewarding summer vacation that has begun, using this time and blog to refresh and reflect on the past year and look forward to the next.